Monday, May 26, 2008

Hollowness

With my recent tragedy, how are you able to bounce back? I feel like it is so hard to have feelings. I just feel so hollow, like the magnitude of this is so big, that I literally can not digest everything and in turn, just sit around like a bump on a log. I think I literally am in shock mode. The only way I have been able to get my mind off of it, is by cooking and baking. I am obsessed with scouring cookbooks and want to make desserts. I don't even eat many desserts. It must be some sort of way that I keep myself distracted. Some sort of coping method. I went to work today to help get my mind off things, but have not been able to concentrate much.

After all of the news, I remembered that I go in for "THE" ultrasound on June 4th. This ultrasound will not only tell me the important stuff, that everything is developing normally, but also what the sex is! Whoo Hoo! Can't wait to find that out. I have to keep reminding myself that the baby will look/is healthy and there will be nothing to worry about. It is pretty crazy how much we are able to find out nowadays. When my mom was pregnant with my brother and me, she did not get any ultrasounds or any blood tests and her eating restrictions were much less limited. Now with all of these damn tests, I feel like pregnant women nowadays have so much more to worry about. Did you worry about any of the serious things? Or did you say "screw it" everything is fine?

My sister in law is two weeks ahead of me. She is supposed to find out the baby's sex on Thursday. I can not wait. They already have a girl, so we will see what is in store for them!

Upcoming post....belly shots and my new bed mate.

3 comments:

Christy said...

I opted not to have any of the prenatal tests. The only test I had performed was the 20 week ultrasound.

Jeninacide said...

I think it is totally normal to be in shock right now. My first inclination is always to bake and cook as well when tragedy strikes... so strange!

I think you ALWAYS worry about your baby when you are pregnant- but the best thing to do is to think positively because as long as you take care of yourself your baby will be fine.. : ) I had all the regular prenatal tests but none of the "extra ones" and none of the invasive ones.

For me, if the extra tests had told me that my kid would have Down Syndrome or whatever- it would not have changed my feelings about the pregnancy so we chose not to find out. However, we are at very low risk over here... as I am sure you probably are as well : )

I am excited to find out what you are having!! AHH!

Lindz said...

So many huge things happening for you right now. I am in shock over the news you shared with us and I don't even know them. Somehow tragic events like that make all of us think and appreciate what we have a little bit more. Too bad it has to happen that was so often.

I too, am excited to find out what you're having!!!