On Saturday I brought Miss S over to my brother and sister in law’s house where my mom was watching their four year old and 17 month old. We decided to take the three girls to the park, with the little ones in the wagon and Leah riding her big wheel. I started getting stressed over the thought that my mom and I were outnumbered with three kids. I was especially paranoid about Leah riding ahead into the street. Even though my mom insisted that she knew to stop and wait at each corner (and she did) I couldn’t stop the agitation. It got worse at the park when both Miss S and Little Ava tried to scale the double slide at the same time while I was watching them. I just couldn’t handle two kids to myself while my mom was across the park with Leah.
It was barely 15 minutes in and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I told my mom “let’s go!”. Her being the calm one (and also a elementary teacher and the best grandma ever) tried mellowing me out so that the kids could play longer. It didn’t work. I was stressed. Stressed that one kid might fall off the slide while the other darted towards the street. At one point I even yelled at my niece Leah for screaming to get our attention. “Leah, stop screaming, you are FOUR!” Nice aunt I am.
I know I am confident while with Miss S, but the prospect of watching one more or two more, makes me sweat. I don’t know why I got so ridden with anxiety. Can’t figure it out. All I know is that I am sure my niece Leah reported back to her parents that I am the mean one.
By the time we got back to the house I needed a cocktail. But it was only 4.