Monday, March 16, 2009

Say No to Strangers

On Saturday night Sonya started crying every time my sister-in-law came close to her (i.e. making faces, trying to get her to laugh). She was fine around my parents, hubbs, and I, but whenever Lisa came around she got pissed. Then last night she did the same thing when my other sister-in-law Juliana and my mother- in-law came over. I am not sure what is going on. Is she going to start going through a faze where she does not like strangers?

Personally, I would feel kind of bad if a baby only cried at me when I came around. Lisa did not mind since our niece did that at her age. I secretly am flattered that I am the one she clings to even though I know she should get used to others.

I have a hard time when people are holding Sonya and being super high strung. In particular, hubbs' mom and grandparents are very much, how do I say this... "in your face" when it comes to playing with her. My theory is to have her discover things. Their theory is to shake things in front of her face (is normally okay to do if you are doing it gently, but they are obnoxious about it) and then they wonder why she gets frustrated. If she cries they chalk it up to her having a belly ache. I want to yell "she does not have a f*&^%*$^ belly ache, she doesn't like what you are doing!" She is a mellow baby and is not a fan of 15 modes of stimulation all at the same time. How do I voice these things to them politely? It really gets on my nerves. They are VERY loving people but are SOOOOO sensitive and I don't want to hurt their feelings at all, but in another sense, she is my daughter and they should respect my wishes whether they agree with me or not.

If my own parents are doing something I don't like, I quickly let them know, they may grumble a bit but I know they will listen and stop something that I don't like. I don't have a great relationship with my dad, he pisses me off a ton, but I actually am quite comfortable when he is with Sonya for some reason. I guess there are just people who are more natural around babies than others.

I guess I just had no idea how fired up I could get about the way people handle themselves around my daughter. I know part of it is just being a mom and feeling strongly protective, but the other part is the people who act weird around her are completely clueless. I want to know how to navigate around these dicey situations. I want people to respect me and hubb's wishes without getting all bent out of shape. Any words of wisdom?


Jeninacide said...

I think it's ok to try to say something about your baby being "overstimulated" when people are frustrating her. Then you can pick her up and take her away from the guilty party. It is actually pretty easy for babies to get overstimulated and they let you know when they are. I think using a scientific-y term might help? Maybe?

MarvelousMOM said...

I definitely think it is ok for you to say that what they are doing isn't what you like and give them other alternatives. They should respect what you have to say as a parent and her mother.

Lainey-Paney said...

dude, I think you found your mama-bear!
i'm with you---the in-your-face crap is annoying....and it spreads germs. I'm just sayin'.....

but yes, a lot of kids are like that at her age. doesn't it just make you feel so needed & loved when she responds so well to you, though? (selfish indulgence, I know...but I was that way!)