I have failed at being a good blogger while also being a mommy. I feel like I have so much more material to write about. All day I am constantly thinking about things to talk about but when the time comes and I have a spare minute, I am blank. I stare at the screen with a deer in the headlights look and wonder "what the eff?".
I have so many more emotions racing through me each day. There are days that I am down, days that I am nothing but happy. Days that I am stressed and days that I am laid back. Some days I am motivated to exercise, some days all I want to do is sit on the couch watching Food Network and snuggle with Sonya. Some days I am obsessed with keeping the house clean, while others I don't care if hubbs balls his socks up and tosses them across the room to the hamper and misses thus resulting in an endless pile of dirty balled up socks.
Being a mom is a hard job but would not trade it for anything. As a whole, I have never felt this complete. I feel like I am kind of a natural at this motherhood thing, but at the same time trying to learn the ropes. I look at other moms and see how they are able to get a feast on the table every night while juggling their careers and a couple of kids and wonder "how the heck?". Do you ever get it right? Or are you always learning as you go?
Sonya fills my heart with so much happiness. I am literally counting the days I go back to work. I can't believe I have 5 weeks left. Time has flown by. I wonder how I will be when I go back to work. Will I still be a good mom? Will I be more stressed because I will be trying to cram so many things into one day? Will dinners turn into grilled cheese and soup? These are the things that race through my head all the time.
I guess I will get more confident as time goes on, but until then I feel like a mess of emotions.